Archive

Archive for June, 2009

History’s Greatest Minor Sinners

June 30th, 2009
  • Enver Hoxha – General Secretary of the Albanian Communist Party. Often left before paying restaurant bills.
  • James Polk – U.S. President. Bad kisser.
  • Louis XV – Unthroned child king of France. Refused to share model of the Papal Palace with other children.
  • Benazhir Bhutto – Indian President. Jaywalker.
  • Charlemagne – Innaugural Holy Roman Emperor. Spanked his daughter.
  • Henry VII – King of England. Peed in the bathtub.
  • Konrad Adanuer – President of the Federal Republic of Germany. At dinner parties, sometimes pretended to be more interested in people’s stories than he actually was.
  • Leon Blum – Prime Minister of France. Would deliberately drive through puddles, wetting nearby pedestrians.
  • Joseph Stalin – Soviet General Secretary. Loved too much.

Monopoly pick up lines

June 29th, 2009
  • Want to see my community chest?
  • Dog or battleship style?
  • Roll three doubles, go straight to my pants
  • Want to pick my dilly?
  • I’m cheaper than Old Kent Road
  • Two drinks and you can go along my Park Lane
  • It’s $35 for the night, or $1,500 if you need a room.
  • It’s Maryleboning time