Guided By Charts

• CNN’s anchor line-up – Richard Quest and Anderson Cooper? Meow
• “Homo” has more fun rhymes than “Hetero”
• Want to feel less self-concious about owning a poodle
• All the truly successful gay artists were gay
• Desperate need for belonging
• Should help you pick up men
• Want to get closer to cute lesbian girl
• Sure as hell aren’t getting any from the ladies

• Do not use lifts in the event of a fire
• To access the Health Club, use the two lifts nearest the windows

Implied notice on a sign near the hotel elevators:

• In the event of a fire, if you are using the Health Club, you will probably die.

• Capitalism stopped returning your calls
• Arrested Development: still cancelled
• French President Sarkozy is banging your wife
• Want to make fun of Gordon Brown’s wonky eye
• Communist chicks are easy
• Nice weather, need the exercise
• Still angry at the B-52’s for Rock Lobster; have poor literacy skills
• Just hate the free market sooooo much
• Have a thing for guys in riot gear
• Would be fine with G19, but feel that South Africa’s increasingly protectionist policies should exclude them
• Want to be a part of history, by razor blading a police horse
• French President Sarkozy is banging your sister
• Economic downturn means writing humorous lists no longer a viable career