Guided By Charts

• Puppies
• God
• Oral
• All your enemies will eventually die
• No Godzilla attack so far – your luck should hold
• Satisfactory closure of the Harry Potter series, with more movies still to come
• Odds of list reader dying in a plane crash tomorrow: low. Odds of list author dying in a plane crash tomorrow – much higher
• Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band
• All the truly happy artists were fundametally unhappy, paradoxical.
• Tequila

• “How do you spell chlamydia?”
• “Is anyone else having problems accessing www.hotdirtysluts.com?”
• “Does anyone have that stuff that cleans the arse stains from a photocopier?”
• “Who have I got to fuck to get a martini around here?”
• “So I said to her, ‘then you shouldn’t have asked me to use the bullwhip to begin with!”‘
• “This budget is fatter than your arse”
• “They claim that dogs are mans best friend, but the only thing that ever helps with my pain is the knife.”
• “See that stain on the wall? Me and Linda last Wednesday. High five.”

Break noodle cake in quarters. Empty contents of vegeable sachet then noodles into a large bowl. Add 1 1/4 cups (312 mL) boiling water and cook in 850 watt microwave oven on HIGH for 2 minutes.
Stir in contents of flavour sachet.
Serve with or without broth as desired.

• Cookies & Cream
• Raspberry Ripple
• Turkish Delight
• Banana Blitz
• Vanilla Raspberry
• Coconut Rough
• Nut Crunch
• Almond Joy
• Neopolitan Sluts 23

• Tongues blunt razor blades
• Gorgonzola is what you get when you breed Medusa and 19th century French literary icon Émile Zola
• Song 2 by Blur is actually the third track of their seminal 1968 double album known as The White Album
• You can power a town of 10,000 souls by putting 8 bald men in a bathtub full of Gatorade and connecting them with extension cords
• Writing humour based lists while at work counts as client billable hours
• Everybody loves holocaust jokes, fewer people love Holocaust jokes
• Puppy Love: cute song, terrible felony

• Pointdexter
• Spike
• Hogfather
• Erin seen, eh?
• Benson & Hedgehogs
• Quilly
• Frank