Life lessons I have learnt the hard way
April 23rd, 2008
- “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas” does not apply to chlamydia
- Wearing a sundress for “casual dress Friday” demonstrates a misunderstanding of the “casual dress” concept
- Though most musicians are notorious liars, the title of the Streets album “Dogs Die In Hot Cars” is entirely factual
- Unlike my outdoor dining table, you can’t “fix” a puppy with a hammer and rusty nails
- Double check your e-mails when organising a romantic tryst with a co-worker called Ally Staff, as careless use of Microsoft Outlook can lead to embarassment
- When drinking heavily with friends, do not exclaim “the new Governor-General is a bit of alright” – it will soon escalate to “I’d tap that”, to “I wish she were here right now so I could plant one right on her lips” to “Where does she live?” to two charges of rape
- Though “keeping it real” is a reasonable explanation for many of my actions, a surprising number of Supreme Court judges feel that there is already an adequate level of reality in their lives and courtrooms.